#22: The Fags

I overheard someone being called a fag and this got me thinking about the word. The first thing I thought was all the connotations like 'misfit', 'different', 'outsider', 'freak'.  Next I started thinking of how it can be a positive term as well in that it captures ideas like independence, strength, fortitude and personal alignment. Then I got thinking about the historical context, the struggle, the success and the political and social journey from 60's to now. Then I spent some time thinking about the times in my life when I've felt like what I think the word 'fag' means, apart from the sexual implications (if that makes any sense at all). That's where this song came from. I've been in Paris for the last week. I brought my guitar and my laptop. I don't have any picks here so I started playing with my fingers, which I normally don't do. I don't have a mic so I just sat at the kitchen table. If you hear some clanking that's probably my mom making lunch. 

Sometimes I'm so alone, that my writing gets small and inaccessible. That's when I really feel like Stephin Merritt from the Magnetic Fields. I write some awkward parts but at least they have pulse. Don't know what you'll hate so I sing the parts in my head that resonate.  Right now I'm really at odds with a straightforward life that could absorb your stars. Can't win in the court of Venus and I lose every time on the field of Mars.